4:05 Monster Movie
Supernatural did the mash, the Monster Mash, in Season 4, Episode 5, "Monster Movie". Sam said, "This is stupid," but we highly disagree. You can also hear about the Vampire Cult Killer, Rod Ferrell, aka Vessago.
Select Sources:
"Chronology of the Wendorf Slayings." Orlando Sentinel, 14 Aug. 1998, https://www.orlandosentinel.com/1998/08/14/chronology-of-the-wendorf-slayings/.
"Florida 'Vampire Cult' Killer Sentence: 40 Years." HuffPost, 11 Dec. 2018, https://www.huffpost.com/entry/florida-vampire-cult-killer-sentence-40-years_n_5c0ae460e4b0ab8cf6933c17.
"Human Monsters: Rod Ferrell, The Vampire Cult Killer." RA Brewster, 15 Dec. 2018, https://rabrewster.com/2018/12/15/human-monsters-rod-ferrell-the-vampire-cult-killer/.
"Rod Ferrell." Wikipedia, Wikimedia Foundation, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rod_Ferrell.
Staff Report. "Vampire killer keeps his life sentence." Daily Commercial, 11 Apr. 2020, https://www.dailycommercial.com/story/news/local/eustis/2020/04/11/vampire-killer-keeps-his-life-sentence/1367922007/.
Transcript
On this week's episode of Devil's Trap podcast, we're going to talk about the next music genre.
Speaker A:Goth psycho vampire wannabe.
Speaker B:Woo hoo.
Speaker B:We're also gonna learn how you can actualize your inner monster at our new self help seminar, the Dracula Within.
Speaker B:Let's.
Speaker A:Welcome to this week's episode of Devil's Trap podcast, we're going to talk about season four, episode five, Monster Movie.
Speaker B:I'm Diana.
Speaker B:Do not smash.
Speaker B:Wait, that's not how that song goes.
Speaker B:Okay, whatever.
Speaker B:Sorry guys.
Speaker A:The monster mash.
Speaker B:He did the mash.
Speaker B:He did the monster mash.
Speaker B:So hello from Orlando, Florida.
Speaker B:Ooh, it is so sexy in my room.
Speaker B:Diana can see this really fantastic black wall or a blank wall behind me that looks like I'm doing a kidnapper proof of life video.
Speaker B:But it's fine.
Speaker B:Yeah, that'.
Speaker A:Oh.
Speaker A:So how have you been?
Speaker B:I had a great weekend.
Speaker B:Well, we actually went.
Speaker B:I went and saw bands, which is, you know, I went and saw bands.
Speaker B:I went and saw goddamn Gallows and who's like a Billy band.
Speaker B:And I went and saw and Bridge City center was played and then I drank a lot and then I was hungover all Saturday.
Speaker B:It really killed, pretty much killed my weekend until I had to put things in suitcase and get to come to the fabulous, fabulous Orlando during spring break.
Speaker B:During spring break.
Speaker B:Oh my fucking God.
Speaker B:I have never been so here is your advertisement for clear.
Speaker B:So you've clear.
Speaker B:You want to sponsor.
Speaker B:Go for it.
Speaker B:I have never been so grateful to have clear.
Speaker B:As you step into an Airport at 6 o' clock in the morning on a Monday morning during spring break and holy shit.
Speaker B:Like.
Speaker B:And I'm kind of like.
Speaker B:So the way, like for those of you who don't travel a lot, this is something you need to know.
Speaker B:If you have an early flight and it's something like spring break, your lines are going to be ridiculously long because TSA does not open until 5:30.
Speaker B:So you have the backup of everybody who got in there before you that is waiting to get into those lines, plus all the other people who are coming in, which is how you get a two to three hour security line.
Speaker B:Which is why you should have clear.
Speaker B:Because an Austin precheck doesn't mean anything anymore because everybody and their goddamn grandmother has pre check.
Speaker B:But I also enjoy all the people who are just flabbergasted by this and then try and bring me into the conversation.
Speaker B:Like, can you believe how ridiculous this is?
Speaker B:Like, can I believe that you don't have clear?
Speaker B:Okay, whatever.
Speaker B:Bye bitch.
Speaker B:Like Like, I don't have clear, Liz.
Speaker A:I just have my pre check and my global entry.
Speaker A:I'm gonna have to get clear now.
Speaker B:Fuck yeah.
Speaker B:So we're on.
Speaker B:This is also like, people, like, be nice to the people who are taking you places.
Speaker B:So I parked at my shuttle and the shuttle was picking up other people in there.
Speaker B:And there was this family who were like, we're going to miss our flight.
Speaker B:Can't you leave now?
Speaker B:And are yelling at the shuttle driver.
Speaker B:And I'm like, why didn't you get here early, bitch?
Speaker B:Like, how is it the shuttle driver's fault that you were late?
Speaker B:Fuck off.
Speaker B:Like, I was so mad.
Speaker B:I was just like, no, no, you can't talk to people like this.
Speaker B:Quit being an asshole.
Speaker B:And now in the airport, like, at the Southwest Airlines, like, counters, there's a picture of like a grandmother and she's got, like, her wagging finger out and she's like, I raise you better than this.
Speaker B:Stop acting like this.
Speaker B:I'm like, we're at this point that the airport has, like an angry, shaming, shaming grandmother signs.
Speaker A:Oh, my God.
Speaker B:Yeah, people, stop it.
Speaker B:Quipping assholes.
Speaker A:Don't be a dick.
Speaker B:Don't be a dick.
Speaker B:So, but, I mean, I was fine.
Speaker B:I was sitting there and drinking my smoothie while I watched, like, all these people, like, go through.
Speaker B:And then of course, my flight was delayed because whatever, America, like, you can't make things go on time.
Speaker A:No.
Speaker B:But now I'm here for a giant conference full of.
Speaker B:Full of people.
Speaker B:And I'm enjoying things about my work.
Speaker A:Yay, people.
Speaker B:And how was your weekend?
Speaker B:What fun things did Diana do?
Speaker A:I decided to go spend a little time in Houston, Texas, which I think we discussed that people.
Speaker A:That's not usually high on people's lists.
Speaker A:Last week I had a great time.
Speaker A:So Rodeo Houston is a huge deal.
Speaker A:It's a legacy rodeo.
Speaker A:It's weeks long.
Speaker A:They have rodeo activities every night, followed by now live music every night.
Speaker A:For the last four years they've been doing that.
Speaker A:Everybody from like Gwen Stefani to Keith Urban to, you know, Journey fucking plays this thing, right?
Speaker A:And I happened to, obviously I work in the music industry.
Speaker A:And so I'd heard the great vine about a show which ended up going public and it was Bun B's Houston Takeover.
Speaker A:And if you are not, not a rap or hip hop fan.
Speaker A:Bun B and Pimpsy had a legacy hip hop group called ugk, short for Underground Kings.
Speaker A:And Pimpsy is deceased.
Speaker B:Rest in peace.
Speaker A:But we so but Bun B, lots.
Speaker B:Of Those Diana also did like the chest.
Speaker A:I did the chestnut on that.
Speaker A:Sorry I had to.
Speaker A:But Bun B is like really, really respected not only in the.
Speaker A:In the rap community at large across the country and in the end in.
Speaker A:In the Houston music scene.
Speaker A:He's really big on like philanthropy.
Speaker A:He's just really well known and respected in his city and pulled in all of his friends that have ties to Houston in the hip hop world across the country to come and do this special performance.
Speaker A:And it was as of that date, that was Friday the 11th.
Speaker A:It was the highest attended Houston rodeo concert this year at about just shy of 74,000 attendees.
Speaker A:So it was one of the longest lines I've ever stood in to get in a concert, I think actually ever.
Speaker A:It was a.
Speaker A:It was bonkers.
Speaker A:But it was a massive stadium.
Speaker A:Everybody was dressed to the nines.
Speaker A:Best people watching fucking ever.
Speaker A:Best people watching people telling you.
Speaker A:And I hear it's like that every night people dress the fuck up for rodeo.
Speaker A:It was just like really cool because it was just.
Speaker A:It was.
Speaker A:The weather sucked.
Speaker A:So we didn't spend a lot of time walking around the fairgrounds because there's like a whole fair around the two.
Speaker B:I do love a rodeo fairground.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:But we got a trill burger which is Bun B's hamburgers.
Speaker A:Smash burger they make.
Speaker A:So I got trail burger.
Speaker A:And then we went into the show and had.
Speaker A:And they.
Speaker A:It was because Houston based, they have carbock brewing there.
Speaker A:So they had good beer and we were drinking ranch water.
Speaker A:But you know.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:And then they've got like.
Speaker A:I mean it was like full on rodeo.
Speaker A:Like two hours of full.
Speaker A:Like every event including mustard mutton busting which I know barrel racing they did.
Speaker B:Oh, I love a barrel racing.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:And they like half tie.
Speaker A:They did all of it.
Speaker A:It was just really short because it was like a semifinal.
Speaker A:So it was like just short ones of each one.
Speaker A:And then they have this incredibly impressive stage that rolls out into the middle of the rodeo dirt.
Speaker A:Like right there and just right there they do.
Speaker A:And it's like these.
Speaker A:All these.
Speaker A:It's a five pointed star and like all the star points come up and move up and down.
Speaker A:It was super fucking impressive.
Speaker A:Well orchestrated.
Speaker A:Chamillionaire showed up and they did riding dirty Paul Wall was there.
Speaker A:Toby and Wigby's really amazing artists out of Houston that him and his wife are really talented and I don't know.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Some other rappers.
Speaker A:Yeah, I like hip hop too.
Speaker A:Sorry guys.
Speaker B:Diana and I have range.
Speaker A:We like it all.
Speaker A:Well, a lot of things.
Speaker B:Well, no, I do not like it.
Speaker A:I say not like it all.
Speaker B:There's a lot of things I fucking hate.
Speaker A:But yeah, yeah.
Speaker A:So no, it was.
Speaker A:And it was, it was like a special.
Speaker A:It was just.
Speaker A:Here's my.
Speaker A:Here's my sappy point.
Speaker A:It was technically it was Black Heritage Night as well, but it was a really cool experience to see all these people dressed up from all walks of life because they were there.
Speaker A:Some people were there for Rodeo, some people were there for the concert and everybody was fucking happy.
Speaker A:And that was just cool to be in a room with that many people and everybody's smiling and dancing and probably getting a contact high because there was a lot of weed in that place.
Speaker A:And it was just like everybody was dancing and smiling and that was just a cool vibe.
Speaker A:Like the positivity off the charts, which was.
Speaker A:It's good to be around that.
Speaker B:And sometimes we don't get that that often.
Speaker B:Especially not between those two crowds.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker A:So yeah, so yeah, that was my big weekend.
Speaker A:I got to explore the city a little bit more on Saturday and just go to some places.
Speaker A:I had some lovely tour guides and some dear friends and one of.
Speaker A:One of which I happened to work with as well, but, you know, ate good food, bopped around the city, saw some cool stuff, went to the oldest bar in Houston, which is called Lock Carafe and then.
Speaker A:Yeah, call it that.
Speaker A:Now get ready for another week of music.
Speaker A:Another big music event this week.
Speaker A:So I'm on my countdown for a luck reunion at Willie Nelson's ranch.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:So this weekend, for those of you who are unaware, is also this week is south by Southwest Music Festival.
Speaker B:So Diana will be coming down to Austin to go to some events and I will be running away from Austin as fast as I can to be the fuck away from all that shit.
Speaker A:Well, I don't know if I'm actually going to do any south by events at this point.
Speaker A:I think I'm just going to go to Luck.
Speaker A:And that's outside of Austin proper by a long shot.
Speaker A:It is just a sold out festival though.
Speaker B:But it's outdoors.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:I also didn't notice the Austin airport had a lot of South.
Speaker B:They have official south by Merch merch for sale.
Speaker B:And I was like, I can just buy a shirt and be like, cool South.
Speaker B:Actually their shirts was pretty cute.
Speaker B:I was like, oh, I would wear that.
Speaker B:Not going to that.
Speaker B:But.
Speaker A:But yeah, so there we go.
Speaker A:That's what happened.
Speaker B:One of my friends is doing the security at Locradian, which is, you know, really funny, because it used to be, like, one day, and now it's, like, extended so far because so many.
Speaker A:Luck Reunion itself is still just one day, but they do stuff at Luck Ranch.
Speaker A:They added a lot more programming, for sure.
Speaker B:But I love the way he described it.
Speaker A:Is.
Speaker B:Willie Nelson just wants to sit at his house and play guitar.
Speaker B:And I was like, is, yeah.
Speaker B:If I was Willie Nelson, that is what I would want to do as well.
Speaker B:Like, I've got this great ranch, and I just.
Speaker B:You can come see me, bitches.
Speaker B:And I think that is, like, the icon.
Speaker B:Don't die, Willie Nelson ever.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker A:Yeah, there we go.
Speaker A:Yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker A:What are you drinking?
Speaker B:I am drinking a Fat Tire because that is what I grabbed at the bar downstairs.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:I. I don't know what this is called.
Speaker A:It was some.
Speaker A:It's a red Pinot noir from Aldi that's supposed to have, like, less sugar so you don't get as much of a headache.
Speaker A:So we'll see.
Speaker A:I don't have too much of a problem.
Speaker A:Usually when I just have one, I'm not really worried about it.
Speaker A:I just.
Speaker A:Low on wine.
Speaker A:That's what I got.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:I was just like, yeah.
Speaker B:Is this a.
Speaker B:Is this a problem that you're trying to address?
Speaker B:You're like, no, I just had this wine, and it's fine.
Speaker A:It's as Dave described it, babe.
Speaker A:Excuse me.
Speaker B:It's like.
Speaker A:It's inoffensive.
Speaker A:Yes, it is.
Speaker B:It's inoffensive and an inoffensive line, which is.
Speaker B:What more can you ask for, you know?
Speaker A:There you go.
Speaker A:So let's talk about this super fucking cool episode.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:I was very excited for you to watch this one because I'm sure it was completely unexpected, like, when it started.
Speaker B:So Monster movie.
Speaker B:This was season four, episode five.
Speaker B: ,: Speaker B:It was directed by Robert Singer and was written by Ben Edlund.
Speaker B:So some of our favorites, which is why this was really cool.
Speaker B:But, I mean, I want to know, like, your first thought of when the credits roll.
Speaker B:Like, were you like, what the first time?
Speaker A:I was like, oh, this is fun.
Speaker A:And I was like, I'm sure I won't last very long.
Speaker A:They're gonna go to.
Speaker A:You know what I mean?
Speaker A:Like, you see somebody like, oh, it's a cute intro.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:Yeah, they did that.
Speaker A:They're gonna stop doing this now.
Speaker A:No, they don't stop.
Speaker A:It's all black and white.
Speaker B:They don't.
Speaker B:They all start.
Speaker B:Yeah, it's a monster movie, but, you know What?
Speaker A:I mean, like, they.
Speaker A:Like, a lot of times when they do a show like that, like, okay, the intro starts and it'll transition to normal.
Speaker A:And it's like.
Speaker A:No, no, they committed.
Speaker B:They committed.
Speaker B:Like, even at the end, like, we would expect, like, we.
Speaker A:And all the ending.
Speaker A:All the ending credits, too.
Speaker A:Same thing.
Speaker A:That was cool that they just did.
Speaker A:Like, they were like, this isn't just the beginning shtick.
Speaker A:This is.
Speaker A:We doing this.
Speaker A:I thought it was cool.
Speaker B:Yep, we're in.
Speaker B:Yep.
Speaker B:So we start off with.
Speaker B:My note is like a very black and white themed intro.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:And we got baby driving into Pennsylvania.
Speaker A:But there's lightning and the sign kind of flashes to Transylvania.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:It is also a very stylized sign.
Speaker B:And I love the lettering on the Pennsylvania.
Speaker B:It was like, oh, yeah.
Speaker B:You make Pennsylvania look pretty cool.
Speaker B:Like, I live there.
Speaker B:It's not that cool.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:And so Dean is.
Speaker B:So the Impala is just driving down this dark road.
Speaker B:And Dean's really excited about this weird case they're going to.
Speaker B:With a quote, a dead vic with a nod on neck, body drained of blood, and a witness who swears up and down he was a vampire.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:And Sam's not totally sold.
Speaker A:He's like, the world's ending and we're gonna do a vampire case.
Speaker A:Indian's like, yeah, a good old monster hunt.
Speaker A:It's straightforward, black and white case.
Speaker A:Such a clever line.
Speaker A:Oh, he said it.
Speaker A:He said it.
Speaker A:So, yeah.
Speaker A:So they're in.
Speaker A:It's Oktoberfest in this town in Pennsylvania.
Speaker A:And they're.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:So poco music is playing.
Speaker B:And this Oktoberfest is sponsored by 97.2 Rock FM.
Speaker B:Classic rock.
Speaker B:That really rocks.
Speaker B:And also on the side it says it features live music by the Happy Schnapps Combo, which, if you're gonna be a polka band, be the Happy Schnapps.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:And they're in.
Speaker A:So our brothers are in suits and they're talking about a new movie, I think, which I didn't catch the movie.
Speaker A:I was very confused.
Speaker B:Dean wanted to see the new Raiders movie.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:And Sam said he saw it while he was in hell.
Speaker B: And I was like, so it's: Speaker B:And that it could only mean the Crystal Skull.
Speaker A:So, Dean, it is probably.
Speaker A:You're fine.
Speaker B:Good idea that you missed this.
Speaker A:What do you mean?
Speaker B:Any Raiders?
Speaker B:So you forgot about that movie.
Speaker B:And good.
Speaker B:So you should forget about that movie.
Speaker B:I don't know if I've ever actually made it through the whole thing.
Speaker B:Like, I think I've tried to watch it.
Speaker B:A few times and always fall asleep.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:But then they find big pretzels.
Speaker B:And damn, they are big pretzels.
Speaker B:Yeah, I almost ordered that today.
Speaker B:Oh, that sounds good.
Speaker A:And they introduce me.
Speaker A:Yay.
Speaker A:Big pretzels.
Speaker A:And then they introduce themselves to the local sheriff as agents Angus and Young.
Speaker B:At some point, somebody has to be like, classic rock that really rocks.
Speaker B:But like, how do you not know who Angus Young is?
Speaker B:And if you're listening to this, you don't know who Angus Young is.
Speaker B:Fuck you.
Speaker B:How do you not know who Angus Young is?
Speaker A:Liz, that is not nice.
Speaker A:That's what Google.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker A:I'm just kidding.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So the sheriff's like, all right, come on.
Speaker A:Takes him to the morgue and there's, you know, they've got the body of a 26 year old girl.
Speaker A:And the sheriff's so, so compassionate.
Speaker A:He's like, yeah, the last thing this town needs is.
Speaker A:Is this during peak tourist season.
Speaker A:Lord, like, wow, you sound like a nice guy.
Speaker A:But she does have two holes in her neck.
Speaker A:And they're like, is this.
Speaker A:You know, there's like, could it be a vampire?
Speaker A:And Sheriff goes on a thing about a Satan worshiping Anne Rice fan.
Speaker A:And it was just really bizarre.
Speaker B:Satan worshiping Anne Rice reading gothic psycho vampire wannabe.
Speaker B:And I'm like, yeah, that's everything I aspired to be.
Speaker B:Although I would like to read less Anne Rice because, well, rest in peace and Rice.
Speaker B:See, I'll get your chest pad.
Speaker A:You get your chest pat too.
Speaker A:There we go.
Speaker B:Yeah, you're a terrible author, but I loved your stories.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:So they gotta go find this quote unquote unreliable witness named Ed Brewer, which, by the way, is a funny name.
Speaker A:And we'll get to that clever naming in a minute.
Speaker A:But so we get to.
Speaker A:We're at the Tavern at Oktoberfest, and of course Dean's got a flirting thing going on with Jamie, the Bart bartender.
Speaker A:And she doesn't really seem to buy that he's a fed because they're playing off their feds, obviously here to investigate.
Speaker A:And he gives like this really lame, like super fucking lame douchey speech about being a maverick.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B: Yeah, he also said: Speaker B:Was that the John McCain?
Speaker B:Was that the race?
Speaker A:Ooh, I think it was.
Speaker A: That would have been: Speaker B:So that makes sense.
Speaker A:Yeah, yeah, yeah, in there.
Speaker A:That's hilarious.
Speaker A:I name a piece that together.
Speaker A:Okay, so, but over in the bar as well is good old Ed Brewer.
Speaker A:And he is obviously intoxicated and has a giant Beer stein so big.
Speaker B:And I'm like, like in the giant beer signs.
Speaker B:And granted, you know, it's been.
Speaker B:I don't know if I've ever actually.
Speaker B:Like, I remember as a child, like some of those being around the ger areas of Texas, but does your beer get flat?
Speaker B:Like, that's like a really big beer.
Speaker B:Like, how do you.
Speaker B:I mean, maybe they just.
Speaker A:I don't like, like, and it's like a pain.
Speaker A:Like, that's why I don't even.
Speaker A:Like, I barely.
Speaker B:Like that is taller than me and it gets blah.
Speaker B:I mean, also, like, as a short person with T Rex arms trying to like.
Speaker A:And you have to like, open the top of it too.
Speaker A:Like, that's a whole thing.
Speaker A:Like, that seems like a lot.
Speaker B:I would spill that beer all over me.
Speaker B:Like, I think maybe someone needs to do the history of beer steins and explain to me why they're a fucking thing.
Speaker B:But.
Speaker A:But I like that his name is Ed Brewer and he drinks a lot of beer anyways.
Speaker A:But he's like, yeah, I told the cops everything, but no one believes me.
Speaker A:And I told the truth and now everything's a joke.
Speaker A:And they're like, no, we've got experience with strange stuff, so it's fine.
Speaker A:And so Ed's like, all right.
Speaker A:It was after midnight.
Speaker A:I was walking through the park home like I do every day, and I thought I saw this couple making out, but she was actually struggling and he was biting her neck.
Speaker A:And so they asked like, well, what did he look like?
Speaker A:And he's like, Like a vampire.
Speaker A:It's like a painful conversation.
Speaker A:I'm sorry.
Speaker A:I'm just like, okay.
Speaker A:And they asked for more.
Speaker A:He's like, yeah, fangs, slicked back hair, cape, the medallion thingy with the ribbon.
Speaker A:And he's like, like Dracula.
Speaker A:He's like, yeah, right down to the accent and does a terrible vampire accent.
Speaker A:Oh.
Speaker A:So, yeah, we.
Speaker A:Over the show, we then see the bartenders talking.
Speaker A:So we've got Jamie the bartender talking to her friend Lucy.
Speaker A:And Jamie's like, look, I don't think Ed's crazy.
Speaker A:I think he's just weird.
Speaker A:The other bartenders like, yes, he tips you, like, really well and she like, blocks her lipstick and leaves.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:And this is where I will say as my non spoiler was that I was like, this is a really, like, overt close up of this chick blotting her lipstick.
Speaker A:And I usually wouldn't necessarily note that, but they made sure you noticed that she was blotting her lipstick.
Speaker B:Yep.
Speaker B:And do we ever get to why she's blotting her lipstick?
Speaker A:No, but that's okay.
Speaker B:I just.
Speaker B:That's what I don't understand.
Speaker B:I'm like, it's a mark and it's a thing.
Speaker B:And I'm like, so.
Speaker B:But this.
Speaker B:It has nothing to do with anything.
Speaker B:And I'm like, okay, cool.
Speaker B:She.
Speaker B:At least she's taking.
Speaker B:She's taking care of her lipstick.
Speaker A:She's very concerned about her lipstick saturation.
Speaker A:So Dean's like, oh, Jamie, I need a beer.
Speaker A:And she makes a joke about him drinking on duty, but I'm off duty now.
Speaker A:And Sam walks up, and he notices right away, though, the blotted lipstick and kind of, like, looks at the napkin real weird.
Speaker B:So why would you look at that?
Speaker B:Weird people blot lipstick all the time.
Speaker B:I don't get it.
Speaker B:But.
Speaker B:So Dean has concluded that the killer is also a goth psycho vampire wannabe.
Speaker A:Yep.
Speaker A:Yep.
Speaker B:I think I need that shirt.
Speaker B:Like, I totally wear goth psycho vampire wannabe on her shirt.
Speaker A:Yeah, that's all right.
Speaker A:And so Sam's like, yeah, but that means it's not our kind of case.
Speaker A:And Dean's like, well, who cares?
Speaker A:You know, the room's paid for.
Speaker A:It's Oktoberfest.
Speaker A:We got beer and bar wenches.
Speaker A:And Sam's like, I don't think they like being called wenches.
Speaker A:So Dean yells, bar wench.
Speaker A:And Jamie delivers a beer.
Speaker B:You know, and honestly, if all the things that you call a waitress bar wench is probably the least offensive.
Speaker B:Like, I would probably be okay with being called a bar witch.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So then Dean goes in this really gross, like, weird speech about how when he came back from hell, this was so gross and weird.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Am I wrong?
Speaker B:You're wrong.
Speaker B:I think it's hilarious.
Speaker B:I don't think he's serious.
Speaker B:That's why I think it's funny.
Speaker B:He's just being grossed.
Speaker B:But not.
Speaker B:I don't think it's as douchey as he has been.
Speaker B:So the theory is, like, all his scars and everything have cleared up.
Speaker B:Which sounds fantastic, right?
Speaker A:And it's like, well, broken fingers are straight and all that.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Because I'm like, can you take care of my stretch marks?
Speaker B:Like, if I go to hell, like, does my tummy just, like, go back to where it was?
Speaker B:I'm like, I don't have to worry about my thighs.
Speaker B:Having stretch marks Anym would be fantastic.
Speaker B:But I mean, 200 years or however long he was in there being tortured.
Speaker B:Stretch marks.
Speaker B:I don't know.
Speaker B:It's a toss up.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:I think.
Speaker A:I thought it was only a few months.
Speaker B:Time passes differently.
Speaker A:It does pass differently.
Speaker A:In hell.
Speaker A:Anyways, I'm just teasing.
Speaker A:Yeah, but so now, because of that, he believes it carries over to the fact that he is a virgin now.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:And he has been rehydrated, which also.
Speaker B:So you don't have a hymen.
Speaker B:And that is also not proof of virginity, which is, you know, hey, guys, get.
Speaker B:Get on this.
Speaker B:This is.
Speaker B:Please don't use hymens as proof of virginity.
Speaker B:Anyway, so Sam's like, all right, Dean, fine.
Speaker B:I'm going to bed.
Speaker A:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker A:It was just weird.
Speaker A:And so Dean hits on Jamie and she's like, now I promise I'm bringing up with my girlfriend tonight and you have to try again tomorrow because what type of bar wench would I be if I went out with you the first night you asked me out?
Speaker A:Which is kind of funny.
Speaker B:She's got standards, right?
Speaker B:So.
Speaker A:So she's like, well, he's like, well, are you.
Speaker A:He tells her.
Speaker A:He's like, no, we're leaving town because this isn't kind of our.
Speaker A:The case isn't going to work out for us.
Speaker A:She's like, oh, is it too weird?
Speaker A:He's like, no, it's not weird enough.
Speaker A:Like, accurate.
Speaker A:I appreciate that.
Speaker B:But then it's not weird enough, but we're going to cut to a full moon.
Speaker A:There's more.
Speaker B:Which is actually, like, when I was driving to the airport on whatever day I came, it was very early, and there was, like, a gorgeous full moon, like, in front of, like, the clouds.
Speaker B:And it looked just.
Speaker B:You're like, I need a wolf howling.
Speaker A:And there's a couple making out in a small car and a wolf howling.
Speaker A:And this is Anne Marie and Rick and.
Speaker B:Yeah, and this guy.
Speaker A:This guy's a dick.
Speaker A:Yeah, fuck this guy.
Speaker A:Totally.
Speaker A:Because she's getting freaked out and, like, tries to stop making out with him a couple of times and he's like, gives, like, some story about, like, how if you don't get the stuff out of him regularly, it'll back up and cause medical problems.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Chick's leg.
Speaker B:Has this slide ever works on you?
Speaker B:Like, we went to health class, man.
Speaker B:We all had the same fucking health class.
Speaker B:And not in, like, even in seventh grade health, where they're like, semen has to exit a man's body or he'll die.
Speaker B:And we get.
Speaker B:You should fucking die or go see a doctor if that is happening and your.
Speaker B:Your semen backs up and then you, like, explode.
Speaker B:Yeah, you should probably go get that checked out.
Speaker B:Man, you've got got something wrong.
Speaker A:You don't need to get laid.
Speaker A:You need to go to the doctor.
Speaker A:So there's a shadow creeping up to the car and he's like, there aren't any wolves in Pennsylvania.
Speaker A:And then a wolf man grabs him through the window.
Speaker A:And I'm not sad and neither are you.
Speaker B:No, not at all.
Speaker A:So we cut to Anne Marie loudly drinking through her straw as she sits with our brothers to speak to them about what happened.
Speaker A:And she's bitching.
Speaker B:Hair.
Speaker B:Like, her hair is really good.
Speaker B:She's got great bangs that I'm so jealous of because I can't get those.
Speaker B:They don't have that thick of hair.
Speaker A:She is.
Speaker B:Oh, yeah.
Speaker B:And then I was like, that Big Gulp looks really good, but it was a mega.
Speaker B:It was a mega big.
Speaker B:And then they were like showing the giant pretzels again.
Speaker B:So apparently my notes are a lot about the pretzels.
Speaker B:I think I was really hungry when I was watching this because I'm like, oh, damn.
Speaker B:Also, like, pretzels are always good.
Speaker A:Yeah, that's true.
Speaker A:Giant.
Speaker A:Everybody likes a giant pretzel.
Speaker A:But yeah, and she's like, yeah, no, it was like a werewolf, like from the old movies.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:And that ripped Rick into pieces.
Speaker A:And so back in the morgue.
Speaker A:Oh, yeah.
Speaker B:Wait, wait.
Speaker B:So when she describes the werewolf, she was like, yeah, you know, furry face in the black nose.
Speaker B:And I'm like, well, that just sounds adorable.
Speaker B:He just sounds like a puppy.
Speaker B:Oh, and he also had the torn up pants and shirt, which I'm just like, that is the cutest werewolf ever.
Speaker B:Like, I would have been like, can we be friends?
Speaker B:Like, come here, boy.
Speaker B:Come here, boy.
Speaker A:So back in the morgue, Sam and Dean are like, first Dracula, now a movie wolfman.
Speaker A:What the fuck?
Speaker A:And so they open.
Speaker A:They didn't say, what the fuck, that's me.
Speaker A:But they were puzzled.
Speaker A:They were.
Speaker A:They were puzzled.
Speaker A:They open the body bag and they're both kind of gasping and saying like, damn.
Speaker A:Apparently there's bite marks to the bone.
Speaker A:And like, this guy is like, fucking destroyed.
Speaker A:Yeah, they're pulling out entrails, like little tiny pieces.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:But the heart's still there, which is a telltale sign that it was not an actual witch werewolf.
Speaker B:What does this mean?
Speaker A:And then the sheriff walks in and it's like, we found fibers on the body and we've already got them back from the lab.
Speaker A:And they were canine.
Speaker A:Wolf.
Speaker B:What lab do you have that fast?
Speaker A:It's fairly impressive, but.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Yeah, I'm like, for a small town in fucking Pennsylvania, y' all have a pretty good lab that, like, able to analyze like, you were csi came out there, ripped the hairs off the morgue body, sent them off, have them analyzed.
Speaker B:They're like, we are conclusive.
Speaker B:This is.
Speaker B:Can lupinus, whatever that one scientific word for lupus or.
Speaker B:No, that's a disease.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:Whatever.
Speaker B:They were like.
Speaker A:Like, I don't know.
Speaker B:I don't know.
Speaker B:Loopyish.
Speaker B:I don't.
Speaker B:Loopy.
Speaker B:Ish.
Speaker B:Just there.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:So Dean thinks they have stumbled onto a midnight showing of Dracula Meets Wolfman.
Speaker B:And this is, like, one of the first, like, kind of things that we start noticing about these things that are happening that are starting to point towards a more Hollywood type of being.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:And they're like.
Speaker A:And werewolves don't grow wolf hair, so that's kind of weird.
Speaker A:But then.
Speaker A:And then, Jamie, what hair do they grow?
Speaker A:Don't know.
Speaker A:But apparently it's not wolf.
Speaker A:That's all.
Speaker B:Is it just, like, your hair that grows out so you just have your own, like, thicker, like.
Speaker B:Like, it's just like, you really need to get waxed, like.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:I don't know.
Speaker A:I thought that was an interesting side, too, because they grow hair.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:TMI for the podcast world.
Speaker B:So when I went out on Friday, like, it had been so long since I left my house that my armpit hair was soft.
Speaker B:So that's.
Speaker B:Apparently we do grow, like.
Speaker B:I think that's what werewolves are.
Speaker B:They're just like me after not leaving my house for, like, a few weeks.
Speaker B:And it's just like this armpit hair everywhere.
Speaker A:Just flowing.
Speaker B:Just flowing.
Speaker A:Blowing in the wind.
Speaker B:Blowing in the wind.
Speaker A:Oh, my gosh.
Speaker A:So, yeah, Jamie is feeding them beer and giant beers.
Speaker A:Yeah, giant beers.
Speaker B:Well, they have, like, smaller beers.
Speaker B:And then she brings, like, these massive ones.
Speaker B:I'm like, unless it's that Lone Star frosting.
Speaker B:The Lone Star with the frosting mug that you love.
Speaker B:Like, I can't like, even.
Speaker B:That's not that huge of a mug of beer.
Speaker A:No, that's hard to do.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:But she's like, they figured out.
Speaker A:Basically, she figured out that they're stuck in town because this case got weirder.
Speaker A:And she's like, here's some beer.
Speaker A:And I get off at midnight and.
Speaker A:And we see Lucy blotting her fucking lips again and reading a movie magazine.
Speaker B:Oh, I said she was reading a movie magazine.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker B:And Jamie finally, like, agrees to have a date with Dean.
Speaker B:Midnight.
Speaker B:Midnight.
Speaker A:And then Dean asks Sam if Dracula.
Speaker B:Can turn into a bat because that would be cool.
Speaker A:Have y' all heard the terrible, terrible joke about the.
Speaker A:Not joke, but just, like, reference about.
Speaker A:About Robert Pattinson?
Speaker A:Like, well, apparently vampires can turn into bats because Twilight.
Speaker A:Now Batman.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Oh, Edward.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Sad word.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Then Dean gets a really nice beer stash.
Speaker A:He does.
Speaker B:It's kind of adorable.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:And then we cut to the Canonsburg Museum of American History with a lot of lightning and a security guard on the phone, and he seems very confused about a giant Egyptian sarcophagus of some kind that has been delivered, was found on the loading dock.
Speaker A:So he brought it inside.
Speaker A:He's like, yeah, there's no info.
Speaker A:I don't know what's going on.
Speaker A:Whose is this?
Speaker A:Are we expecting it?
Speaker A:And he turns around and the lids come off and a mummy has come out of the sarcophagus and climbs out and chokes him.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:I also have.
Speaker B:It's a mummy.
Speaker B:And then I have.
Speaker B:Holy mother of crap.
Speaker B:Was that a line of the show or did I just write holy mother of crap?
Speaker B:I really hope that was a lie.
Speaker B:That wasn't.
Speaker B:Just like, I was very tired when I was right.
Speaker A:When I was Holy mother of crap.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:And he unloads on it and it does nothing.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Also security guards with a gun.
Speaker B:That's kind of weird, but okay.
Speaker A:It's just a different license.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:All right.
Speaker B:Sure.
Speaker B:And then the mummy chokes him to death.
Speaker B:Bomb.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So, ma'.
Speaker B:Am.
Speaker A:So we've got the crime scene team there and the brothers are there, too.
Speaker A:And then Sam finds a tag on the sarcophagus.
Speaker A:And it's a fucking prop house in Philly.
Speaker A:So it's not real.
Speaker A:It's a movie prop.
Speaker B:And he has a tiny bucket of dry ice.
Speaker B:This is tiny little bucket of dry ice.
Speaker B:And I was like, that is the cutest bucket ever.
Speaker B:And Sam's just like, this is stupid.
Speaker A:This is stupid.
Speaker A:That made me so happy, by the way.
Speaker A:Because, like, I don't think, like, they've dealt with some ridiculous shit before.
Speaker A:And Sam's usually pretty empathetic, or he gets upset in the feels and pounding.
Speaker A:Just be like, this is stupid.
Speaker A:He had no other possible reaction.
Speaker B:Fair, Sam?
Speaker B:Fair.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So Dean has a whole ass to go meet Jamie because he's late.
Speaker A:So we cut to Jamie because we know this is bad news now, right?
Speaker A:Because we know there's something going on.
Speaker A:And Jamie's going to be alone after work.
Speaker A:Oh, no.
Speaker A:So she's walking around.
Speaker A:She's like, wait for a minute.
Speaker A:She's like, it.
Speaker A:And she starts walking and you hear, like, I have a flapping wishing sound and it's Dracula.
Speaker B:Dracula.
Speaker B:Good evening.
Speaker B:All right, so this is where we would have had.
Speaker B:I had an original.
Speaker B:I had something planned for Laura here.
Speaker B:And we are going to have Laura here.
Speaker B:So you probably would have.
Speaker A:So we are having Laura.
Speaker B:So we are having Lore.
Speaker B:But originally my plan was to go to the.
Speaker B:The universe because I'm in Orlando and all of these monsters are very much taking off of the Universal Studios monsters.
Speaker B:And there is a classic monsters cafe.
Speaker B:And I had plans to go there and like, go eat their food because they're all like.
Speaker B:They're themed, but.
Speaker B:But not themed.
Speaker B:Well, like, there is.
Speaker B:So the mummy combo is vegan.
Speaker B:And it's slow cooked jackfruit with crispy onions and crunchy spawn.
Speaker B:A kaiser roll.
Speaker B:I'm like, okay, so mummies are vegan.
Speaker B:They have a mummy platter.
Speaker A:You're supposed to look at the wrappings.
Speaker A:Is that what it is?
Speaker A:It's supposed to like the wrappings?
Speaker B:Sure, sure.
Speaker B:I don't know.
Speaker B:I didn't get to eat it because my feet hurt really bad.
Speaker B:I didn't want to go to Universe Studios.
Speaker B:Cause it's spring break and.
Speaker B:Fuck that.
Speaker B:They also have, like, their vampire combo is 10, like pulled pork with barbecue sauce on a pretzel roll, which does sound delicious, but I guess a barbecue sauce is what makes it vampire y.
Speaker B:And they also have a franken Mac and cheese.
Speaker B:Oh, and they have french fang fries in a swamp coleslaw and a gory green salad.
Speaker B:Oh, and coffee.
Speaker A:Swamp coleslaw.
Speaker B:Swamp coleslaw.
Speaker B:I don't know.
Speaker B:And they have a phantom apple cobbler and a crypt cooking I would order.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Sound like a. I was gonna say something gross.
Speaker A:Is that a Gothic?
Speaker B:Gothic scratch.
Speaker A:Gross.
Speaker B:That is really gross.
Speaker B:I ha.
Speaker B:Like, I can't.
Speaker B:You.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:Sometimes it's you.
Speaker B:So it.
Speaker B:That is actually a s' mores chocolate chip cookie.
Speaker B:Delightful.
Speaker B:So, yeah, that was what I was going to do.
Speaker B:And then I got really tired and didn't want to go Universal.
Speaker B:So instead I pulled something out of my butt that I've been sitting on for a while.
Speaker B:And that is the tale of the vampire killers.
Speaker B:So this.
Speaker B:It was timely.
Speaker B:I pulled it out because a lot of this takes place in Florida and also near where I am.
Speaker B:So we're going to take you back to a time that apparently isn't fashion, because I saw this in some crappy entertainment show today.
Speaker B:The 90s are back, baby.
Speaker B:And we've been saying this for a while because we Know fucking hats like that.
Speaker B:As soon as I saw a bucket hat, I was like, oh yeah.
Speaker B:And I'm like, I'm just going to rip out my shelters.
Speaker B:Which.
Speaker B:Yeah, I mean, I still have shelters.
Speaker B:Whatever.
Speaker B:Fuck off.
Speaker B:Like, they're cute shoes.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker B: All right, so we're in: Speaker B:So Rod is a teenager and he grew up in a very dysfunctional home in Kentucky.
Speaker B:He was expelled from high school in the ninth grade.
Speaker B:So that's pretty early to get to get expelled from somewhere.
Speaker B:So he was using both pot and acid by the time he was 14.
Speaker B:Not that surprising.
Speaker B:But then he went to cocaine and heroin.
Speaker B:And so I love this.
Speaker B:In one of the quotes from the places I got.
Speaker B:Rod would fly into absolute rages when he would intravenously inject cocaine and heroin simultaneously.
Speaker B:Well, no shit.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:You.
Speaker B:Yeah, that's just.
Speaker B:You're gonna.
Speaker B:You're gonna not.
Speaker B:Things are not gonna be good if you're pounding coke and heroin into your doing a speedball, you know, AKA hell, you know, Jump.
Speaker B:Lucy died.
Speaker B:Like not a good thing.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:That doesn't.
Speaker A:Yeah, that's a lot of uppers and downers for your body to processing all at once.
Speaker B:I also don't understand.
Speaker B:I don't.
Speaker B:But it sounds like a terrible.
Speaker B:I don't even know.
Speaker B:Like I'm gonna say if you've done speedballs, call us and let us know how it.
Speaker B:Please don't.
Speaker A:I don't want to know.
Speaker B:You keep that to yourself.
Speaker B:Don't tell anybody you've done a speedball.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:Like nobody needs to know that.
Speaker B:So he basically like his home.
Speaker B:Like I said, it was dysfunctional.
Speaker B:So fucked up that even after he was after.
Speaker B:Spoiler alert.
Speaker B:He goes to jail, but his mom actually gets arrested herself because she was writing basically porn letters to a 14 year old when she was 34 after her son has been in Detroit jail.
Speaker B:So, yeah, so not a good place for him to go while he was like getting into his drug world and there's nothing to do in Kentucky.
Speaker B:I'm pretty sure from where he's at, there was absolutely nothing to do.
Speaker B:And what if his friends apparently introduced him to the concept of vampirism and he became obsessed with.
Speaker B:There was used to be a role.
Speaker B:I guess it probably still exists.
Speaker B:There was a role playing game called Vampire the Masquerade, which was really popular for like a amongst.
Speaker B:Like it was like Magic the Gathering.
Speaker B:That was vampires, I guess.
Speaker B:But just one of Those role playing card games.
Speaker A:Okay, so.
Speaker B:But he also just got really into it and decided that he was a 500-year-old vampire named Vassago.
Speaker B:Oh, yeah.
Speaker B:With powers too.
Speaker B:And theoretically that comes from a demon named Vassago, which is a German demon, and in the Lesser Key of Solomon, which we've talked about here.
Speaker B:Um, but somehow he became Vassago.
Speaker B:So I don't know, he just got like a book that was misspelled or he just came up with this at this time, like his mom came home and he had carved an upside down cross in his chest with a razor.
Speaker B:Because he was cool like that.
Speaker B:Yeah, real fucking cool.
Speaker B:So then he decides that he wants to start recruiting other members into his family, which he dubbed the Vampire clan.
Speaker B:So in order to join this clan, you had to, of course, drink Rod's blood.
Speaker B:So he would cut his arm and then to get that thing that you would have to drink out of his fucking arm, which is just insanitary and gross.
Speaker B:So he brought on three people who.
Speaker B:Most of them who will be important in the story later.
Speaker B:So Howard Scott Anderson, Charity Casey and Dana Cooper.
Speaker B:And they all came from terrible places.
Speaker B:Their family sucked because they were in Kentucky.
Speaker B:And not that you're from Kentucky, your family sucked.
Speaker B:But if you were a white trash background in Kentucky and you don't have anything to do, you're probably looking for trouble because you're a teenager and there's nothing to do.
Speaker B:So what do you too, you join a vampire club and then you start hanging out at the quote unquote vampire hotel, which was an abandoned building just in the middle of fucking Kentucky.
Speaker B:And they basically, you know, have vampire rituals and drink each other's blood and I'm assuming do a lot of drugs because, I mean, what else you did?
Speaker B:So then Rod's mom decides they're moving to Florida, and they move to Eustis, Florida, which is in Lake County, Florida, 40 miles from Orlando, where I am.
Speaker B:So this is like, this is timely.
Speaker B:I'm here, this all happened near me.
Speaker B:And so there he met a lovely.
Speaker B:Maybe not so lovely.
Speaker B:He met a young lass named Heather, and Heather Windorf.
Speaker B:And him fell in love.
Speaker B:But then like, bitch, his mom moved him back to Kentucky.
Speaker B:Oh no.
Speaker A:Rude.
Speaker B:So he moves back to Kentucky, but he's staying in touch with Heather and they're sending letters.
Speaker B:I don't know if they're eight.
Speaker B: ,: Speaker B:There was a prodigy dial up coming up somewhere and they're talking to each other.
Speaker B:So in these letters that Heather is sending, sending to him and she's 15, she's basically telling him that her life is hell and she wishes her parents were dead.
Speaker B:And so Ron, I am going to be the knight in shining armor and I'm going to save.
Speaker B: So In November of: Speaker B:So she's going to suck Rod's blood.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker A:And that's not all.
Speaker B:Yeah, probably not.
Speaker B:They do cross her over.
Speaker B:And so now the 15 year old heather is now part of the vampire clan.
Speaker B:And so Rod, who is 16 at this point, has decided they're going to break into Heather's house and they're going to steal her parents for explorer.
Speaker B:Somehow along the way they just changed and we're going to go in and kill Heather's parents.
Speaker B:So Rod Brooks broke, they broke into the garage, he got a crowbar, entered the house.
Speaker B:Her dad Richard was asleep on the couch and before he even woke up, he basically beat him to death with a crowbar.
Speaker B:Then her mom was in the shower and this is just terrifying, right?
Speaker B:I can't imagine like coming out of my shower to find this.
Speaker B:And she was also basically beat to death with a crowbar.
Speaker B:He later said that he was going to let her live, but she lunch at him with a hot cup of coffee and he changed his mind and decided to kill her.
Speaker B:But also, yeah, Naomi, like whatever you can do to get, get those fucking murder out of the house.
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker B:But unfortunately she didn't make it.
Speaker B:Then Heather's older sister Jennifer.
Speaker B:This is also like just shitty things that you would not expect.
Speaker B:She had snuck out of her house and so she creeped back in and she was like, this is really easy.
Speaker B:And she found her mom basically lying on the floor in a pool of blood.
Speaker B:And then she realized that she had walked past her dad.
Speaker B:Dad who?
Speaker B:And so yeah, really terrifying.
Speaker B:So the kids, you know, the vampire clan did take the, you know, they took the Bronco and they left Florida and they basically like fled that and went to, they basically ran out of money in Baton Rouge.
Speaker B:And that's where Casey calls her grandmother who was always kind of helpful and she was like, grandma, I need some Money.
Speaker B:And thankfully her grandmother was not insane and called.
Speaker B:Called the police.
Speaker B:And so the police set a trap for them.
Speaker B:Her grandmother was like, oh, come here, I'll meet you, I'll give you money or something.
Speaker B:And they all got arrested.
Speaker B:They also got.
Speaker B:They got arrested at a Hojos.
Speaker B:So she was like, go to this Howard Johnson.
Speaker B:And so they arrested them and they eventually got moved back to Florida.
Speaker B:So they all go on trial.
Speaker B:And of course, some of you may remember this, it was a pretty big trial because Rod Farrell looks like.
Speaker B:Like a wannabe psycho whatever.
Speaker B:Whatever.
Speaker B:Dean called him a wannabe psycho vamp, goth, whatever.
Speaker B:He looked terrible.
Speaker B:He looked fucking insane.
Speaker A:Psycho vampire wannabe.
Speaker B:Yeah, goth.
Speaker B:That is.
Speaker B:That describes Ron Ferrell to a T. He was convicted of.
Speaker B:So Casey, the one whose grandmother like basically got them in, she was convicted of two counts of third degree murder, robbery with a gun or deadly weapons, and burglary armed with weapons or explosives.
Speaker B:And she got ten and a half years in prison.
Speaker B:Cooper was convicted the same charges, but he got a 17 and a half year sentence.
Speaker B:They were.
Speaker B: Got out of prison in: Speaker B:So Anderson, the third guy, he was convicted of felony murder and given a life sentence without the possibility of parole.
Speaker B: But in: Speaker B: years, I think in: Speaker B:I want to say 18, don't quote me on that.
Speaker B:It was not that long ago, but they were like, no, I can get 40 years.
Speaker B:So he'll be released in prison.
Speaker B: In: Speaker B:And he was also trying to get the other ones off of this and saying, you know, like, they're all innocent.
Speaker B:Anderson was an accessory, but he only watched and touched them.
Speaker B:But that's of course, like, that did not work well with the courts.
Speaker B:And Rod was sentenced to death.
Speaker B:And he would have.
Speaker B:He was the youngest inmate on death row and it would have been a record of his sentence though, however, was commuted to life in prison without the possibility of parole.
Speaker B: In: Speaker B:And then everyone was like, no, no.
Speaker B:Like they basically, they were like, this guy is fucking insane.
Speaker B:And I forgot what the word is.
Speaker B:Like, not incorrigible, but like, we cannot fix him.
Speaker B:Like, he does not need to go anywhere.
Speaker B:Like, he fucked up you should stay in prison.
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker B:But it's also really sad.
Speaker B:Like anything about this.
Speaker B:He was 16.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Like so to be that fucked up at 16 years old that like what the fucking life did you have to get.
Speaker B:Get to this point?
Speaker B:Like that is fucking terrifying.
Speaker B:But yeah, so the.
Speaker B:Really.
Speaker B:That was a very short version of them because I, like I said I had plans to talk about food.
Speaker B:Instead we got the vampire cult killer is.
Speaker B:Which I've been wanting to talk about for a while.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:So ta da.
Speaker B:That's it.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So you got your goth psycho vampire.
Speaker A:Wandies only.
Speaker A:Murderer, murder.
Speaker B:They did seem to fit the description of like they were talking about.
Speaker B:About.
Speaker A:Absolutely.
Speaker A:All right, so we have Jamie being chased by our very movie cliche vampire.
Speaker B:And he calls her Mina.
Speaker A:Yeah, he calls her Mina.
Speaker A:And he chases her into a dead.
Speaker B:End, like also at this point.
Speaker B:And it's going to go later.
Speaker B:Like, okay, well he chases her.
Speaker A:All right.
Speaker A:And they do really great lighting here.
Speaker A:Like just like the close ups on his face of like the.
Speaker A:Just on the, like just light across the eyes.
Speaker A:Like very apropos for this film style that they were trying to mimic, I thought.
Speaker A:I just want to point it out.
Speaker A:There you go.
Speaker A:And so, yeah, he's talking about being Mina.
Speaker A:She's digging through her purse while he's going on this whole thing about how I've been watching you and I've got all this passion.
Speaker A:You're the reincarnation of my beloved and I must have you.
Speaker A:And she fucking maces him and runs.
Speaker B:Go, Jamie.
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker A:His accent drops for a second and goes.
Speaker A:Son of a.
Speaker A:And then Dean finds her as she's running away.
Speaker A:And so Dracula calls her his bride and then gets in a big fist fight with Dean.
Speaker A:And he's pretty fucking strong and resilient Dracula is.
Speaker A:He kind of gets like the, the, the drop on Dean a bit here.
Speaker A:And then Dean rips his fucking ear off.
Speaker B:He does rip his fucking ear off.
Speaker B:But also Dracula calls him Mrs. Mr. Harker.
Speaker A:Yeah, he goes to Mr. Harker.
Speaker A:Sorry, I left that out.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Come on, Dean.
Speaker B:Okay, you're not there yet.
Speaker B:Like, how are you not here?
Speaker B:What the fuck, Dean?
Speaker A:But I've got a lot of news when he rips the ear off.
Speaker B:Yeah, he rips the ear off.
Speaker B:The best getaway ever.
Speaker A:Jumps a fence that Dean can't jump and then drives away on a Vespa.
Speaker B:Just like Dracula running off and of Espa.
Speaker A:Amazing.
Speaker A:His cape flowing behind him on a Vespa.
Speaker A:Fucking epic.
Speaker A:And then we have Intermission.
Speaker B:I love the intermission.
Speaker B:For no reason.
Speaker A:But cool.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:So Sam meets Dean at the beer hall with Jamie, and they are no longer drinking beer.
Speaker A:No.
Speaker A:And Dean's got the ear wrapped up in a towel, and he makes Sam touch it, you know, and then touching.
Speaker B:Sam, touching.
Speaker A:But it's the skin of a shapeshifter.
Speaker B:Like, Sam.
Speaker B:Are you just.
Speaker B:That from.
Speaker B:Like, what?
Speaker B:Like, so you can tell what a shape.
Speaker B:Like what?
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker A:I mean, they did see, like, they did have to handle the skin of that one before.
Speaker A:I don't know.
Speaker B:I guess.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:Like, sure.
Speaker B:All right.
Speaker A:And the label on the ribbon that he tore off of Dracula's neck also was the same costume shop that the sarcophagus came from.
Speaker A:So now they know they got a shape shifter that's got.
Speaker A:That's fucking crazy.
Speaker B:Yep.
Speaker B:Yep.
Speaker B:He batshit.
Speaker B:Yep.
Speaker A:So Jamie's like, are y' all, like, Mulder and Scully?
Speaker A:Dean's like, no, X Files is a TV show.
Speaker A:This is real.
Speaker B:Which one would be Mulder?
Speaker B:Which would be Scully?
Speaker B:I think we've had this discussion before.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:I'm gonna say Sam.
Speaker A:Sam is Scully.
Speaker B:Yeah, Sam is Scully.
Speaker B:Dita's Mulder.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:So Dracula is fixating on Jamie and just wants her to be his bride.
Speaker A:And they decide that their number one suspect here is Ed Brewer.
Speaker A:And Jamie's talking about how he just moved there and he's a movie projectionist.
Speaker A:So Sam's like, oh, I'm gonna go find him right now.
Speaker A:You stay with Jamie and keep her safe.
Speaker A:And so Dean's answering Jamie's questions pretty honestly about monsters.
Speaker A:She's like, guess she figured out that he's not FBI, and they traipse across the country fighting monsters on their own, on their own dime and giving up their life for this responsibility.
Speaker A:And he's like, yeah, I used to think of it that way.
Speaker A:But before.
Speaker A:And he drops off because he means before he went to hell.
Speaker A:And then describes that, you know, that, you know, he had a very near death experience.
Speaker A:And he came to realize that he helps and saves a lot of people.
Speaker A:And it's pretty awesome.
Speaker A:And it's a gift and admission from God.
Speaker B:Yep.
Speaker B:So I think this is one of the things I want to talk about this, because really, there is.
Speaker B:How is this episode driving the story, the overall season storyline, forward?
Speaker B:And I. Yeah.
Speaker B:And I think this is one of the places that we get.
Speaker B:This is Dean is no longer.
Speaker B:You know, so before he went to hell, there was very much.
Speaker B:This was a burden.
Speaker B:This is.
Speaker B:You know, what I Am forced to do this.
Speaker B:Like.
Speaker B:Like, why am I in this cycle?
Speaker B:And now it's like, oh, but also, we have the angels come in.
Speaker B:But I'm like a gift from God, a mission from God.
Speaker B:Those things always scare me because that's how you get cults.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:But I thought this was kind of like, okay, this.
Speaker B:This episode makes more sense now.
Speaker B:Like.
Speaker B:But we had to go through all of this to get here.
Speaker A:And I do think that they did need.
Speaker A:In some ways, you also needed something.
Speaker A:A twofold reason for this episode as well.
Speaker A:Number one, remind people the fun of the Monster of the Week.
Speaker A:Because that's really what we kicked off the whole series with.
Speaker A:And kind of bring that back a little bit, I think was part of it.
Speaker A:I also think that you needed a little bit of.
Speaker A:Not to say there aren't other funny parts of episodes.
Speaker A:And the episodes aren't entertaining and funny in some ways, but a light episode that in general didn't take itself too terribly seriously because we've had some real fucking serious shit lately.
Speaker A:Even if the episodes haven't been super serious, like, the concepts around.
Speaker A:I mean, we had the rougarou, but, like.
Speaker A:But we've had a lot of dealing with, like, the world is ending because of demonic shit.
Speaker A:And I mean, the rougarou wasn't so much, but I think this one just.
Speaker A:It was like, they feel like they do, like, kind of a serious monster.
Speaker A:Not serious, but a semi serious monster.
Speaker A:Because that was real dark and kind of sad.
Speaker A:With the Ruger.
Speaker B:That was.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:And, like, that was a lot of sad, Sam.
Speaker A:And it was also sad with the rougarou and his wife and baby to be.
Speaker A:And all that.
Speaker A:Like, that was depressing as hell.
Speaker A:And nothing he had, you know.
Speaker A:And then in this one, I think it was like.
Speaker A:I don't know.
Speaker A:I thought it was necessary, but I do think this profound moment where Sam.
Speaker A:Where Dean is really figuring out how he feels about what they do now, and that chamber, vocalizing the change in it.
Speaker B:Yep.
Speaker A:Yeah, there we go.
Speaker A:And then it all changes.
Speaker A:And she asks if it means he's like a monk when he's celibate.
Speaker A:And he's like, no.
Speaker A:So they start making out.
Speaker B:I'm not celibate.
Speaker B:I like.
Speaker B:Yeah, I like you, Jamie.
Speaker A:And so Lucy's there getting a bottle of liquor, and Jamie invites her to stay for a drink.
Speaker B:Liquor?
Speaker B:I barely knew her.
Speaker A:Then we have the coolest fucking scene ever, because Sam's at the movie theater.
Speaker B:And so the movie theater is playing Phantom of the Opera.
Speaker B:That was Another consideration for this.
Speaker B:I did think about talking.
Speaker B:So Lon Chaney does.
Speaker B:Apparently he used to haunt the Universal Studios lot in Hollywood, but then they tore that down.
Speaker B:So I don't know if he's still haunting that backstage.
Speaker B:Maybe he's just wandering around like, you know, riding in Wizarding World.
Speaker B:And then Lon Chaney is just like, whee.
Speaker B:Like I'm on a griffin.
Speaker A:So as Sam is entering the theater, we see the movie poster of one of the greatest monster movies ever made.
Speaker A:Them.
Speaker A:I'm biased.
Speaker A:I'm biased, I won't lie.
Speaker A:But it's really good.
Speaker A:I mean, it's really super fun, sci fi kind of monster film.
Speaker B:If you have been following along on our podcast, Diana belongs in a car club name then after that movie.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So, yeah, I'm biased.
Speaker A:But it's a cool poster and there's a misfit song and all those good things, so it's entertaining.
Speaker A:There we go.
Speaker B:For a second I was like, they were playing a misfit song.
Speaker A:No, just like, there's a misfit song called it.
Speaker B:I fucking miss it.
Speaker B:Like, the misfit.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:So it's just.
Speaker A:It's Phantom fan of the opera music playing.
Speaker A:But yeah, so there's them poster there.
Speaker A:There's another them poster in the hallway and a Dracula poster.
Speaker A:And Sam's got his pistol out and he sees a silhouette of somebody playing the organ on the stage.
Speaker B:He also.
Speaker B:He also, like, drops his magazine.
Speaker B:And for a second I was reading my notes and I was like, why did Sam have a magazine?
Speaker B:So dra.
Speaker B:Sam, like, Dr. Drops the magazine out of his gun and then puts it right back in.
Speaker B:What the fuck, Sam?
Speaker B:Like, did you think you were out of.
Speaker A:Yeah, sometimes I question people that work on TV shows in general, not just this show.
Speaker B:Yeah, okay, whatever.
Speaker B:So, yeah, so Sam does something stupid with this guy.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:But there's.
Speaker A:So there's a silhouette of someone playing the organ.
Speaker A:And then, like, it's so fucking ridiculous.
Speaker A:It's fucking Ed Brewer in his underwear.
Speaker A:Underwear.
Speaker A:But then he hits the Casio pre recorded, like, button right there next to the organ and starts playing like the little, like, bossa nova.
Speaker B:And he's like, just having, like.
Speaker A:He is having a fucking blast.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:Yeah, it's just so weird.
Speaker A:And Sam tries to pull his ear off and he sneaks up on him.
Speaker A:It doesn't work because Ed Brewer is not the shapeshifter after all.
Speaker A:He's just a fucking weirdo.
Speaker B:And Sam's like, it's supposed to come off.
Speaker A:So now we have a problem because we have misidentified the shapeshifter.
Speaker A:Could it possibly be the person who awkwardly blots their lipstick all the time?
Speaker A:I don't know what.
Speaker A:That has nothing to do with it.
Speaker B:We still don't know why.
Speaker B:Why are you blotting to listen?
Speaker A:It's very upsetting.
Speaker A:So at the bar, Lucy's heard the whole story.
Speaker A:Jamie's getting real fucked up.
Speaker A:And then you realize that, like, it's got to be Lucy.
Speaker A:So Dean and Lucy.
Speaker A:Dean and Jamie have been drugged, like, bad by Lucy now wherever she fed them to drink.
Speaker A:And so Dean tries to punch her.
Speaker A:Jamie passes out.
Speaker A:Jamie passes out.
Speaker A:Dean thinks he's gonna be real tough and breaks a bottle on the edge of the table to go after Lucy and just passes out or falls down.
Speaker A:And you see him look up to Lucy.
Speaker A:He goes.
Speaker A:And scene.
Speaker A:As she stomps on his fucking face.
Speaker A:Ouch.
Speaker B:Ouch.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:He also.
Speaker B:His face did not look like she stomped on it.
Speaker B:So, yeah.
Speaker B:So we're gonna switch now to a laboratory.
Speaker A:Laboratory.
Speaker B:A laboratory.
Speaker A:And Dean's now dressed in his little lederhosen German boy outfit.
Speaker B:I also don't know why he put, like.
Speaker B:Why did he.
Speaker B:Why did the shapeshifter put Dean Later Hosen.
Speaker A:Makes no sense.
Speaker B:It makes no sense, but it's fantastic.
Speaker B:I'm like, okay, Dean's a lederhosen.
Speaker B:All right.
Speaker B:It makes me wonder if there was, like, something that was cut that explained why Dean was in lederhosen, but.
Speaker A:Yeah, or they just like to do silly shit sometimes.
Speaker B:I feel in the shit sometimes.
Speaker A:So he's strapped to a wooden slab and.
Speaker B:Yeah, all of Frankenstein.
Speaker A:Yeah, so it's Frankenstein.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:So now we've got a Frankenstein scene, and there's a painting that looks a lot.
Speaker A:Awful lot like Lucy on the wall.
Speaker B:And Dracula says, is Bride number three from the first film?
Speaker B:And I'm like, yes.
Speaker B:The Weird sisters, like, oh.
Speaker B:They're like, have all always been my favorite part of Dracula films.
Speaker B:And I don't actually know what they were.
Speaker B:They were in Bram Stoker's Dracula.
Speaker B:But they.
Speaker B:These.
Speaker B:The weird.
Speaker B:The Vampire Brides.
Speaker B:Like, yeah, like in Buffy.
Speaker B:They were fantastic in Dracula.
Speaker B:They're fantastic.
Speaker B:Like, I love them so much.
Speaker B:Like, and they never.
Speaker B:Like, I would love to have a whole series spin off just about the Vampire Brides.
Speaker B:That would be like the.
Speaker B:Like, hey, not Netflix.
Speaker B:Yeah, take that one.
Speaker B:Do Vampire Brides as a story.
Speaker B:Go.
Speaker A:All right.
Speaker A:So he thinks that she didn't get the acclaim she Deserved.
Speaker A:So that's why as a shifter, he chose her form to stroll around in.
Speaker A:And now.
Speaker A:But now his bride is reborn and Dean calls him a pumpkin pie eyed crazy son of a bitch.
Speaker A:I don't know what that means.
Speaker B:I actually really don't know what that means.
Speaker A:See, he's like, all right.
Speaker A:And he says that you're not really Dracula and asks about the mummy, gets punched in the face.
Speaker A:And it says.
Speaker A:And Dracula says, I am all monsters and punched Dean again.
Speaker A:And so it goes on the Dracula character that our shapeshifter is now going to spiel about how life is messy and movies are grand and elegant and I've chosen to be elegant.
Speaker A:And Dean's like, what are you doing to victims?
Speaker A:That's not elegant?
Speaker A:And what happens at the end of all the monster movies?
Speaker A:Movies?
Speaker A:So Dracula's like, no, in my movie, the monster wins and gets the girl and the hero gets electrocuted.
Speaker A:And now he's standing by the big fucking electrical switch that the table that Dean's strapped to.
Speaker A:This is not good.
Speaker A:Not good for Dean.
Speaker B:It's not good also.
Speaker B:How did you build this?
Speaker B:Like, where did this come from?
Speaker B:Like, it's like.
Speaker B:So I guess the prop house.
Speaker B:I get that, like you can get the table from the prop house.
Speaker B:But how did you hook this up to electricity?
Speaker B:Like, did you bring an electrician in?
Speaker B:And like, hey, I would like to have this shit that this like thing that I pull down go to this table and was electrician.
Speaker B:Like, cool.
Speaker A:But then the doorbell rings and this is amazing.
Speaker A:So we get the doorbell ringing and so Dracula walks out of his laboratory into like, like it's just like a regular room in his house.
Speaker A:And his house is like this super simple, like normal as fuck suburban house.
Speaker A:And this is just this room done up like a laboratory.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker A:And it's.
Speaker A:That just cracked me up.
Speaker B:I also like the fact that we're both saying.
Speaker A:Obviously, obviously.
Speaker A:And the pizza guy is just like so unimpressed with Dracula, like completely.
Speaker A:I will point out also that this is played by Giacomo Basato, who was a regular character on Izombie, who was in Once Upon a Time.
Speaker A:He was in Wayward Pine.
Speaker A:So much episodes he was on X Files.
Speaker A:He's on another episode episode of Supernatural later on.
Speaker B:Did you pull who Dracula was?
Speaker A:Arrow Fringe, Freddie Got Fingered.
Speaker A:And in Scary Movie, yes, our Dracula is played by Todd Stashwick, who was in the Originals and Heroes and a Voice for Courage, the Cowardly Dog.
Speaker B:I was, yeah.
Speaker B:I also, I meant to IMDb him because I.
Speaker B:Maybe I know him from Heroes, but I think he's also just a character after, like, I.
Speaker A:He's played us.
Speaker A:Yeah, he's played single roles in a lot and a lot.
Speaker A:A lot of things.
Speaker A:But, yeah, those are some of his big things.
Speaker A:Yeah, I will.
Speaker A:And then.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So our only other super notable one.
Speaker A:I mean, obviously we have some great acting in this.
Speaker A:I'm not knocking that.
Speaker A:Jamie's played by Melinda Sward, who has been in a bunch of soaps.
Speaker A:She was like an ongoing character on Days of Our Lives, Passions and Bold and the Beautiful.
Speaker B:Was she on.
Speaker B:Was she on any soap with Jensen Ackroyd?
Speaker B:I didn't.
Speaker B:We'll have to check to see if they had a pass.
Speaker B:So Jensen was he All My Children days are realized.
Speaker B:I always go back and forth on which one he was in.
Speaker B:I don't remember.
Speaker B:Sorry, guys.
Speaker B:Sometimes.
Speaker B:All right, so the pizza delivery guy.
Speaker A:Pizza delivery guy.
Speaker A:And it's just seeing.
Speaker A:Just cracking up because the pizza's got.
Speaker A:Pizza delivery guy's just like, what the fuck?
Speaker A:I just like, I'm just wanna deliver your goddamn pizza.
Speaker A:And Dracula asks if there's garlic on the pizza.
Speaker A:And he's like, did you order garlic on the pizza?
Speaker B:Is there.
Speaker B:Is there garlic on the.
Speaker B:What would that accent come from?
Speaker B:I don't have my transcode.
Speaker A:I can't do it now either.
Speaker A:And then Dracula had a coupon.
Speaker A:Because Dracula is a dick.
Speaker A:You don't do that after the fact.
Speaker A:But whatever.
Speaker B:You let them know when you order that you have a coupon.
Speaker A:Anyways, so we cut back.
Speaker A:Sam shows up at the bar and he's leaving a voicemail for Dean.
Speaker A:But then he realizes the bar is all fucked up and he sees the lipstick on the napkin, which takes him to Lucy.
Speaker A:So maybe the lipstick on the napkin doesn't mean shit.
Speaker A:He just thinks it's gross.
Speaker A:She's leaving lipstick blots everywhere.
Speaker A:And figures out who it is because she left it behind there.
Speaker A:Maybe has nothing.
Speaker B:But also now he's like Lucy.
Speaker B:And at least Sam has seen some fudgeing Dracula movies because, like, Dean, like, did not get that that Jamie was called Mina.
Speaker B:He was called Mr. Harker.
Speaker B:And I'm like, what the fuck?
Speaker B:Like, you could clearly.
Speaker B:You had to have at least seen one of the Dracula.
Speaker A:And I didn't catch him off the bat.
Speaker A:I had to look that up.
Speaker A:So give me a little pass.
Speaker B:Okay, maybe I'm just a grass psycho vampire wannabe.
Speaker A:But like, new vampires, Liz, you know that.
Speaker B:But Bram Stoker's Dracula I mean, come on.
Speaker B:Gary Oldman.
Speaker B:Gary Oldman.
Speaker A:I've seen it.
Speaker A:It's amazing.
Speaker B:Winona Ryder, Keanu Reeves.
Speaker B:I'm just gonna start naming actors, all.
Speaker A:The people in it.
Speaker A:I'm gonna name the entire cast.
Speaker A:Give me a minute.
Speaker A:No, I know.
Speaker A:I love it.
Speaker A:I just didn't catch the reference right off the bat.
Speaker A:If somebody's screaming it at me and trying to kill me, I might notice more, I guess.
Speaker B:I don't know.
Speaker A:But.
Speaker A:So Jamie wakes up in.
Speaker A:In another creepy room, but this is another stone room that's not a laboratory.
Speaker A:And Dracula really wants her to put on this satin gown and offers her a romantic pizza dinner.
Speaker B:I mean, look, man, if you want to get me to put on.
Speaker B:You want me to put on a fancy dress and eat pizza, I mean,.
Speaker A:I don't eat pizza in a fancy dress.
Speaker A:I'm not.
Speaker A:Not upset about these things.
Speaker A:But, yeah, Jamie is very upset and has figured out, obviously, that Dracula is Lucy and is upset about it pretending to be her friend.
Speaker A:And Dracula's mad.
Speaker A:So Sam has now found his way to this house, which I don't really know how he knew where Lucy lived.
Speaker A:They don't really say that, but there you go.
Speaker B:Well, it's where Dracula lives, not where Lucy lives, right?
Speaker A:Oh, yes.
Speaker B:Oh, Lucy is Dracula.
Speaker B:God damn it.
Speaker A:I was like, well, I. I mean, yes.
Speaker A:Yes, it is.
Speaker B:Fuck, Fuck, fuck.
Speaker A:All right, So I don't know how he gets there, but he gets there.
Speaker A:And so we cut back to Jamie's putting on the dress.
Speaker A:Dracula stops using the accent at this point for a minute, he's like, I don't want to scare you.
Speaker A:And she's like, movies aren't real.
Speaker A:And he's like, look, tell some weird story about how as a kid, his dad called him a monster and tried to kill him with a shovel.
Speaker A:And people have always feared and attacked him.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker B:And I think it's.
Speaker B:So the lines here, I think, are really interesting if you take these in comparison to Sam, right?
Speaker B:So we think about what Sam is struggling with and the fact he loses the axes.
Speaker B:And then you kind of feel a little bad for him.
Speaker B:You don't feel too bad, but he's just like, real is having your dad call you monster.
Speaker B:It's the first time you hear the word.
Speaker B:And he tries to beat you to death with a shovel.
Speaker B:Everywhere I ran, everywhere I tried to hide, people found me, dragged me out and attacked me, called me freak, call me monster.
Speaker B:And I found them, the great monsters.
Speaker B:And it was just like, he goes into this, why we love them so much.
Speaker B:Like, they were feared.
Speaker B:They were beautiful.
Speaker B:And now I'm like them.
Speaker B:But this is one.
Speaker B:The supernatural use of the word freak and monster, I think is an interesting kind of like play in that, that monologue.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:Yeah, but then Jamie's like, you're just a little bitch where she's going with it.
Speaker B:But.
Speaker A:And, but he's like, but now I've got you.
Speaker A:And she's like, you're lonely because you kill people.
Speaker A:Maybe he's.
Speaker A:And he's like, or do I kill people because I'm lonely?
Speaker B:No, I think this is self help talk.
Speaker B:It's like, do I kill people?
Speaker A:Monster self help.
Speaker B:Yeah, Monster self help book.
Speaker B:There's going to be a seminar on this later.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:And then they hear a noise outside the room.
Speaker A:So Jamie yells for Dean and Dracula hits her real hard.
Speaker A:Sam finds Dean and Dean's like, that guy was about to Frankenstein me.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:And then I'm glad that my notes also have Frankenstein as a verb and like saves him from being Frankensteined.
Speaker A:And Sam calls Dean Hansel in his outfit.
Speaker B:He's there.
Speaker B:Hansel.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:But we have silver blades because we know now we know what this is.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:So do you see how awkwardly he tries to go kick down a wooden door?
Speaker A:His foot just goes right through.
Speaker A:Because it's a prop door.
Speaker B:Yep.
Speaker B:Because all this shit is made of styrofoam and it's fantastic.
Speaker A:Yeah, it's pretty.
Speaker A:I mean, it's pretty elaborate for someone's like two rooms in their house to be renovated.
Speaker A:I'm just saying.
Speaker A:So they find something like a Dracula home makeover next HGTV show crossover with sci fi.
Speaker B:Well, I mean, there are actually, there are a number of gothic home shows on YouTube.
Speaker B:Voltaire has one.
Speaker B:Yeah, there's lots of good ones.
Speaker B:So, yeah, I'm not opposed to that show.
Speaker B:You know, I'd love to shit out of it, but I'm probably not Styrofoam.
Speaker A:So there's a big fight.
Speaker A:They find Dracula.
Speaker A:There's a fight, and Dracula kind of gets the drop on them again.
Speaker A:But then you hear two gunshots also when they're fighting.
Speaker B:Dracula calls him Van Helsing.
Speaker B:So now we also Sam has a character to play in this too.
Speaker B:And now he is Van Helsing.
Speaker A:So we hear two gunshots and Dracula says, silver.
Speaker A:And you hear some very sad, spooky music.
Speaker A:And Jamie standing with Sam's pistol that he had dropped.
Speaker B:Dropped.
Speaker A:So Dracula's beauty killed the beast.
Speaker A:Perhaps this is how the movie should end.
Speaker B:Aw.
Speaker B:And then we have a very dramatic Dracula death.
Speaker B:Dracula is no more.
Speaker A:As he sits down calmly in his chair and dies.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So Shapeshifter Dracula's dead.
Speaker A:We cut to Dean and Jamie totally making out the next day outside of the tavern.
Speaker A:Tavern.
Speaker A:And can you imagine being Dean's brother?
Speaker B:Because Sam is just awkwardly watching this, and I'm like, oh, my God, can you stop making out with another chick?
Speaker B:What do I do?
Speaker B:Like, what?
Speaker B: just like, you know, like, in: Speaker A:This is like, what do you want it?
Speaker B:Yeah, you're just like, you know, look at my flip phone and maybe, like, take a picture of you making out.
Speaker B:I don't know.
Speaker B:And then Dean said she thanks them.
Speaker A:For saving her life.
Speaker A:And they were very appreciative of that because she remembered what Dean said about saving people.
Speaker A:So she had to thank him for saving her life.
Speaker A:That's why.
Speaker A:And then Dean says, who gets the girl?
Speaker A:Monster gets the gank.
Speaker B:And then he gets even grosser.
Speaker B:Then he get like, he crosses a douche slide.
Speaker B:The douche meter doesn't.
Speaker A:They're off the charts.
Speaker B:He says, all in all, happy ending.
Speaker B:With a happy ending, no less.
Speaker B:Gross, gross.
Speaker B:Bad daddy.
Speaker A:And then they're talking.
Speaker A:It'd be nice if maybe.
Speaker A:If life was as simple it was.
Speaker A:If life was movie simple.
Speaker A:And Sam's like, yeah, if you could.
Speaker A:If Dean could pick any movie, I know what it would be to.
Speaker A:For to be for your life.
Speaker A:And Dean's like, no way you can guess.
Speaker A:No way, no way, no way.
Speaker A:And Sam easily guesses Porky's 2.
Speaker B:And I do believe this was also Eric Kripke's.
Speaker B:If he had to do a movie, he would be in Porky's 2.
Speaker A:Porky's 2.
Speaker B:Do you even remember Porky's?
Speaker A:I remember Porky's for sure.
Speaker A:I don't know if I remember Porky's too.
Speaker B:Yeah, I remember there was this movie that I was not allowed to watch that I snuck out.
Speaker B:You know, like, basically, like, watch them, like, without my parents knowing.
Speaker B:And now I have a feeling I could never watch them because I'm pretty sure they were very rapey.
Speaker A:But, I mean, yes and no.
Speaker A:I mean, it's.
Speaker A:I mean, there's definitely some creepiness to it.
Speaker A:I just can't say that Porky's 2 is something that I'm, like, super familiar with.
Speaker A:I might get Porky's, duh.
Speaker A:But Porky's 2, I wonder.
Speaker B:The DVD rental downstairs says Porky's too.
Speaker A:Oh, my God.
Speaker A:I don't know if you want to go there.
Speaker B:I don't know.
Speaker A:So it's weird.
Speaker A:I was like, of course that's his favorite.
Speaker A:But yeah, I thought this was super fun episode.
Speaker A:That's my.
Speaker A:That's my big summary.
Speaker A:I think we've, you know, hit that really hard.
Speaker A:But I think it was super fun.
Speaker B:I think it was well done.
Speaker B:Fun tropes in it and just.
Speaker B:It was a hoot.
Speaker B:Let's call it a hoot.
Speaker A:Well, it was.
Speaker A:And I think it was cool to bring in one of their lore.
Speaker A:Monsters.
Speaker A:Being a shapeshifter, but also translating into.
Speaker B:Regular monsters.
Speaker A:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker A:Familiar movie monsters.
Speaker A:Yeah, I thought that was cool.
Speaker A:That's cool because they do weird stuff.
Speaker A:Not weird, but they.
Speaker A:They have their own show lore sometimes, so it's cool.
Speaker A:Yeah, that's what I got.
Speaker B:Woohoo.
Speaker B:All right, guys.
Speaker B:Well, I think at this point, so I am not only battling daylight savings time, I am also battling the fact that I'm on east coast time.
Speaker B:So I real fucking tired.
Speaker B:And unless you have anything else to add to this.
Speaker A:Well, let me talk a little bit more.
Speaker A:Just kidding.
Speaker B:Let's dive into the theory behind.
Speaker B:No, no.
Speaker B:All right.
Speaker B:Cheers.
Speaker A:Jerk.
Speaker A:Cheers.
Speaker B:Thanks for listening to this week's episode of Devil's Trap Podcast.
Speaker A:Be sure to follow us on Instagram, Devil's Trap Podcast, Twitter Devil's Trapp Pod, or you can email us devilstrapevilstrappodcast.com don't.
Speaker B:Forget to subscribe, leave reviews and share it with all your friends.
Speaker B:We're available at all your major podcast listening devices or you can always find us@devilstrap podcast.com thanks.
Speaker B:Devil's Trap Podcast is a don't be a production.
Speaker A:Meow.
Speaker B:Intro music arrangement and performance by Dave Cox.
Speaker B:Piano arrangement and performance by Bobby Orozco.
Speaker B:Meow.
Speaker A:Sam.
